Success of a Failure

It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done. ~Samuel Smiles

In many ways, I am a failure. I was ashamed of this fact for many years. Today, I am 37 years old. I'm single and have no children. I don't own any property. My car (a purple PT Cruiser) is being loaned out to friends while I am living in Guatemala. I have no pets. I don't really own anything. My possessions include a three year old laptop, a lot of second-hand clothing, a handfull of unfinished knitting projects, some books, and a journal. I also have a great pillow and a blanket bought for me by my dad a few years back, which I take everywhere. Yep, that's it.

I wasn't a great student in school. I went onto community college and got great grades, but never committed to any special ambition. I have had many, many jobs... none of which really drew me in whole-heartedly. I have had several relationships, long and short-term. These ended in broken hearts and hurt feelings. Maybe I'm was just feeling sorry for myself, but I have felt like a failure for most of my life.

I can honestly say that I have grown from all of these experiences. I have no regrets. I have had some great experiences and met some really amazing people, a lot of whom I still call 'friends'.

I'm currently living in Guatemala City, Guatemala... I gave up the 'FAIL' part of my life and started embracing my gifts. I love my life here in Guate. I have always dreamt of living in a third world country, and have been doing so for the past eighteen months. I have laughed harder, cried deeper, and loved stronger than I ever thought possible.

I have come to learn several things about myself, of which I will continue to share throughout this blog. I admit that there are days where I still feel like a failure. However, there are more days (especially these days) where I feel like the luckiest person alive, because of the lifestyle that I have chosen for myself.